Clarity Is the Cure for Budget Anxiety | Money Management for Adults with ADHD | 103

All right. Avoiding budgeting is so it feels so much safer, doesn't it? But unfortunately, it's costing us more than we think. So we can tell ourselves things are fine. We'll look at it later, swipe that card, move on. And we haven't even looked to see what's in our account. We haven't analyzed our situation at all because it can feel scary and our brains are going to tell us that it's a scary place. But here's the truth. Avoiding your budget won't eliminate that stress. It's just going to delay it.

So delayed stress, especially in my experience, it compounds just like interest. That's not the kind of compound that we want, right? Hey there, I'm Jules, the budget nerd, and welcome to the Debt Rebel show. This is the place where working families like yours learn how to stop living paycheck to paycheck, crush debt for good, and build a life where money actually works for your family. In about 15 minutes, I'll share practical family budgeting tips, tough love strategies, and actionable steps to move toward debt free living without the fluff, the shame, or the confusion.

And I know a thing or two about this. My family and I have eliminated over $107,000 in consumer debt, and that was after I got my degree in economics. So stay tuned. This is going to be a great episode. So grab that coffee, your planner, whatever you need to make this a great experience, maybe a snack if you're like me and let's make your money work for your family. Let's let's be really honest. So this is something that is so it feels so much easier in the moment and when I share this with you know that I have been there.

I am absolutely currently I avoid certain things like cleaning my house because you know what there's a lot of things I would rather do and sometimes it just feels too daunting of a task to get started. And if you're listening to this show and this is something like budgeting and just looking at your financial situation is one of those things, I get it. I hear you and I want to create a safe space for you talk through some of the reasons why these things could be happening and how you can overcome this part of this, this hurdle in your financial journey.

So one of the things is when we think about budgeting, we can feel very convicted and confronted by our decisions, whether those are the things we've done in the past. And we can kind of feel like, all right, like I don't want to look at this because I have to do something about it. And so one thing that I always encourage my clients is you don't have to do something right away. We can just look at it. And then that's information for our brains to make different decisions moving forward. You don't have to act on it right away.

Some people, I encourage you not to because if we are our big, our big task. So if you think about one big thing that you're going to do for the day, sometimes just opening up your bank app and looking at your bank balance is going to be enough. Sometimes you're going to be motivated and you want to keep going. That's why I teach 15 minute. That's why I, what I teach isn't you get, you can do these things in 15 minute increments or less because sometimes if as long as we can just get started, then it's going to feel a little bit easier.

So one thing that you might find when you actually do start looking at your budget, you might find things that are positive and you might find things that are negative. And sometimes you might find that your brains like, Nope, not going to deal with it today. Or sometimes if you're like me, you take it from zero to 1000 and the problem becomes in your mind, the situation becomes a lot bigger than it really is. So our nervous systems would rather not deal with discomfort. So we can do other things like scroll, we can avoid, we can clean the kitchen, which is definitely not something that I'm doing right now, but I will reorganize my desk.

I will do laundry and I will tell myself I'm going to do the thing that I set out to do. I'm going to do it later. And then later comes and goes, right? And then the next week happens and we're putting our groceries on credit cards or we're panic swiping our cards because you know what, we got the notice that the power is going to get shut off because we completely forgot to pay it, that kind of stuff. So not only is there stress involved with that, but there's some other things that can, other things that are hidden costs of avoiding and not addressing the situation.

So Speaking of the stressful part, our minds can feel like we are avoiding the stress, but we're not. We're creating this low level background anxiety that's just going to be lingering there. And it can sound a little bit like you might find yourself saying things like, can I afford this? Maybe you're asking, I don't even know if that that bill cleared. Or you're maybe you're getting to the checkout stand and you're like, I really hope that my car doesn't get declined. Especially if you're out and about or you have to say, hold on a second and you're moving money from your savings account to your checking account or you're moving money around just to make things happen.

And those are the mental tabs that don't close and our brains want to close those loops. But if we don't address those, then those do remain open loops. Avoidance can increase our our stress level. Another thing that's really great about budgeting is it can help with decision fatigue. So if you're a person that's like, hey, I, I don't like to make a ton of decisions back-to-back. And if you're a parent listening to this, you probably get lots of requests and you're like, I have to process so many things at one time.

So when we don't have a plan, every single time we make a purchase, it becomes this inner dialogue or this debate in our head. Should we buy it? Can I buy it? What if something else comes up? Is this irresponsible? And we're taking our precious mental energy on decisions that could already be made. So that's what the budget does is it pre decides for you so that you can answer those questions based on based on that. So without it, we start negotiating our our financial life, our financial existence every day.

And so then we can get super exhausted. Another thing that we've talked about on the show before is the tension that we can have in our relationships. And this isn't necessarily just our, you know, our spouses. This can be a familial relationships. Maybe you've borrowed money from friends or family and it starts to become this point of tension. Maybe when you are managing money with a spouse that one person's avoiding it and the other one feels anxious about it and then it just starts to build and build.

There could be some resentment there and if both of you are avoiding it, that can be a big, big red flag. So we, my husband and I, especially when we were going through this, I was the one that was like, hey, we need to figure this out because I someone really close to us that this is going to be the thing that ends you. Money is going to be the thing that ends your relationship. And so we decided we needed to figure it out because we didn't want that to continue to go on for us. So the next part is so we might think that sometimes avoiding things can be a a source of peace for us.

And I want to reframe that and challenge you because that is a false sense of peace when we avoid things. And especially if your money feels disorganized or out of control and you just want to have some clarity on it. This is an area it doesn't take a lot of time, but let's focus in on some of the things and some of the some of the things that you can control. And maybe some of the things that you could be avoiding that you feel like are giving you peace, but aren't actually. So things like not opening your mail because you don't want to see what's in there.

Maybe it's like not opening your mail even though because it's not, it's it's like not opening your mail because you're afraid of what's inside. The mail still exists. That bill is still going to be there. The interest is still going to add up. If that's something, you know, that bill get some interest. And The thing is, the only difference is, is we don't see it. And so we tell ourselves we're going to deal with it later. Later things slow. And we tell ourselves that we're going to deal with it later, like when things slow down, when work isn't so crazy, when our kids are older, maybe when we make more money.

But I want you to hear me say today, here's the hard truth, OK, Later, later rarely comes on its own. We get to choose it. And this is this is how we can do that. Budgeting is not about control. Budgeting. Budgeting is not about punishment. It's not about restricting the joy or everything that brings that brings you joy or everything that's fun in your life. It's about reducing the mental load. So when we know things like what we can spend on groceries this week, when we have, we know our bills, we know that our bill due dates and we know that they're paid.

When we know how much money we have in certain categories to spend, and maybe you know that, OK, I'm going to be able to add to my savings this month. Your brain relaxes and that uncertainty and your brain relaxes because uncertainty is so much louder than the numbers. Even if the numbers aren't amazing, clarity is going to bring you some calm and some peace. So you don't have to solve what you can't look at. You can't solve what you don't look at. But once you look at it, you can make a plan and plans are where the empowerment begins.

So if you're like me and avoiding looking at your finances, maybe creating a budget and really leaning into some of those things, I want you to know one, that you're not alone and that if you are avoiding, if you are avoiding creating a budget right now or maybe even looking at the one you've made in the past, I want you to hear me say you are not lazy. You are not bad with money. You're overwhelmed. But avoiding it is giving us a false sense of protection. It's prolonging that pressure. Clarity is going to be the calm that we need.

So today I don't want you to create a perfect budget. I just want you to open your bank app, look at the number, look at look at what's going on and then we're going to face it and get the next steps in place. So I have recently created the grocery reset plan. I have recently created the gross the gross. So if creating creating a budget or getting started in this process seems like something you're like, hey, this is super overwhelming. I'm ready to take a step. I want you to go to my website, thatrebelpodcast.com and take a peek around there.

There's some great resources. Pick the one that calls out to you and that it's going to help you get started on on this journey because action is there going to be the thing that overcomes that paralysis, that thoughts that creep into our minds that we can't do these things. And so just taking one step today, going to the my website, debtrebelpodcast.com and picking a resource there. There's some free resources like the Debt Rebel Starter Kit that you can check out and get started on this journey of just getting some awareness, getting some clarity because that's going to be the thing that brings you the peace.

All right, I will see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining me. Thank you for tuning into the Debt Rebel show today. Ready to take your family budgeting to the next level, stop that paycheck to paycheck grind and start living debt free? Head over to my website, debtrebelpodcast.com. That's DEBTREDEL podcast.com to grab resources, tools and tips to make it happen. And don't forget, subscribe, leave a review. And if you know another family that will love hearing today's episode, it would be such a gift for both of us, your friend and me.

If you share this episode and remember your debt free life starts with one brave step and I'm cheering you on every step of the way. We'll talk soon. Debt Rebel.

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