Why Flexible Budgeting Beats Rigid Rules for Families: ADHD-Friendly Money Management Tips | 91

All right, I have a confession to make. So I changed my mind about something that I previously was pretty adamant about. Today we're going to unpack it a little bit more. So this one might surprise you, especially coming from a budgeting expert. So stick around. Hey there, I'm Jules the budget nerd and welcome to the Debt Rebel show. This is the place where working families like yours learn how to stop living paycheck to paycheck, crush debt for good, and build a life where money actually works for your family.

In about 15 minutes, I'll share practical family budgeting tips, tough love strategies, and actionable steps to move toward debt free living without the fluff, the shame, or the confusion. And I know a thing or two about this. My family and I have eliminated over 100, $7000 in consumer debt and that was after I got my degree in economics. So stay tuned. This is going to be a great episode. So grab that coffee, your planner, whatever you need to make this a great experience, maybe a snack if you're like me.

And let's make your money work for your family. So I am a budget expert. This is what I do. I'm Jules, the budget nerd. And if you're brand new to the show, thank you so much for joining us. And I, I'm so glad that you're here because today's kind of a confession episode, because one thing that I have learned in this process as I coach clients based on the way that I, I learned this, I learned this system and I have adapted it to what works best for me. And then now that's when I'm why I teach to my clients.

And so I have kind of changed my idea on this one specific thing. And it is about whether or not is you can spend money that's not in the budget. So what I mean by that is if you haven't put it in your budget that you can't spend that money. So this might sound a little bit counterintuitive, but follow me because this is something that has helped us in the long term. When I say ask my husband and I because it has helped the big picture maybe on a, you know, week to week or month to month basis, depending on how often you are budgeting your money, it might look a little bit different for you, but it has helped.

OK, so let me backtrack. So one of the things that is commonly taught by finance experts is to when you're making a budget, if it's not in the budget that you don't spend the money. And so I think that that general idea is really wise. And so I, I took that to heart and I was like, OK, you know what, I don't have money in the, you know, I haven't put a line item in my budget this month for this item. And so for instance, depending on what it is and maybe it's an emergency thing. And so that's when you would go to your emergency fund.

But I'm not talking about emergency stuff. I'm talking about like, you know what, I'm pretty on top of the things on my, my daughter's school son's home, but I, I totally miss this. And there is, you know, like a school fundraiser or something. And I have a whole different philosophy on school fundraisers there a whole, you know, different thought process on that, but it's something I wanted to contribute to. So follow me on this. So it wasn't in our budget, right? And normally I would, what I was, you know, previously by previously learned and applied to our life was if it's not in there, it doesn't happen.

And so the reason why I've changed my mind on that is because our lives are like constantly changing. Our goals are evolving our the way that we want to do life is. And so our budgets should be what matters most to us in that given month, right? And so sometimes there are things that come up that are like, you know, what we do, we have, we have it. Maybe that money is in a different category and we just need to shift it around. So I'm not going into debt to contribute to this thing or, you know, but I buy this thing, but I'm just shifting the money from maybe it was from entertainment.

And you know what, we're going to spend a little bit less on entertainment this month because it's really more important for me to contribute to this, you know, school function or something like that. So the reason why I think this is so important is we don't want to be too rigid with our budgets. Yes, it's super important to have a plan in place and to have the parameter set up for us on what we want our life to look like. And that's what that finance that the financial snapshot, a budget is your financial snapshot for the month so that someone like myself or anyone else could look and say, I know what's most most important to this family this month.

And so those things change, right, because we're there were where people were evolving their things that are changing things come up. Now The thing is where I think the old philosophy works well is helping you set up parameters and things that are non negotiable for you. And So what I mean by that is we don't want to let all of those, those things that pop up, not having a plan for those and creating that, creating that buffer is important. Sometimes it can be. And I don't want to go into like the miscellaneous spending because you have to check out that episode.

But getting into the fact that our, our budgets are growing and changing with us. And the one that you had last month is going to be different than the one that you have this month and it's going to be different than the one you have next month. And so not being so rigid with it that we aren't that we trap ourselves, but that we can have some freedom in in that. And so now if these things pop up and you start to see patterns on a regular basis, then maybe it's something that you need to add in on a regular basis.

This says, you know what? It's, you know, school function, you know, and that's, you know, school functions, you know, line item on that kind of stuff. Or, you know, maybe it is something more regular that you want to add to your budget is put that in there. But the whole the whole thing that I'm getting at today is we don't want to live or die by our budget. We want to, we want our budget to be empowering and to be encouraging for us to spend our money confidently. And so knowing that things are going to change and to give yourself grace because you know what, that thing wasn't a priority last month and now it is, but this other thing is less of a priority and being giving yourself the option to change it up.

So I think that's super important. And I think one of the reasons why it's so important is it's going to give us long term success because when we constantly feel like we're failing at budgeting, we're not going to be consistent and stick with it. And that's another reason why having fun money in there, but having that buffer to just say, you know, what some of these things sometimes are going to be, are going to be shifted around. So maybe that $50.00 that you're going to contribute towards your, your kids school function, maybe that comes out of that entertainment budget because you're choosing to do other things because your entertainment budget is going to be a little bit smaller this month because this other the school functions more important.

So I think that that helps us, it helps empower us and so that we're not feeling so restricted by our budget, but that we can accomplish our goals and what's most important to us. But like I said, if it starts to become a recurring thing, then that's when you want to reevaluate and see, is this something I need to add into my budget on a regular basis so that I can account for it? Because we're about not about making it so rigid that you're like, I'm not going to stick to this. These are about realistic budgets and lining them up with what matters most to you and your family this month.

When we set ourselves up for these like shame cycles and these constant feelings of failure, that's when it doesn't become fun anymore. Like budgeting can be fun. We're spending our money. This could be fun, but it is a mindset shift when we are spending our money based on what matters most to us and our families. And then realizing that sometimes things don't have to be as rigid and as stiff as we previously thought. And so giving yourself some space, giving yourself some grace. And if you've been around this podcast for a little while, you'll know I like to do things a little bit differently.

And that's where that whole debt rubble comes in. And so I think that it's so important that we do what's best for ourselves and our families. And sometimes other people are going to say, hey, you know what, yes, this might, this might sound counterintuitive, but big picture wise, this is going to help you have more long term success than being so rigid that you're like, I'm, I'm giving up and I'm not doing this anymore. And then going back into that debt, that spending cycle, that shame cycle, and going back all to those negative things that aren't going to allow us to accomplish the goals and create the life that we want for our families.

So sometimes, sometimes change is good and sometimes it's OK to change your mind. I tell my 6 year old that all the time I do reserve my right to change my mind because given new information. And now as I have started teaching this more often and living it more often, I realize, you know what, sometimes it's OK to shift things around and it's not a failure. It's not, not a, my budget's not completely shot. It's just changing and it's OK. It is absolutely OK. So if you feel like some of your, maybe your mindsets or your habits haven't been serving you well and you decide, you know what, I'm ready for a change.

I want to change my mind and I want to do things a little bit differently. I want to invite you to the $1,000,000 debt rebellion that we're starting in 2026 here on the show, and it's just a serious upgrade to your financial habits in the new year. The best way to get into that is through the Debt Rebel Starter Kit, which you can grab on my website, debtrebelpodcast.com and hop on my e-mail list and I'll tell you all about it there. But that is your ticket into the movement and we are going to pay off $1,000,000 in debt in 2026 as listeners of this show.

So I would love it if you would join me and we can change some of those old mindsets so we can set up budgets that actually feel good to us align with our family's goals. And you know what I think we can have some fun in the progress in the process. So we will see you in the next episode. Thank you for tuning into the Debt Rebel show today. Ready to take your family budgeting to the next level, stop that paycheck to paycheck grind and start living debt free. Head over to my website, debtrebelpodcast.com.

That's DEBTREDEL podcast.com to grab resources, tools and tips to make it happen. And don't forget, subscribe, leave a review. And if you know another family that will love hearing today's episode, it would be such a gift for both of us, your friend and me. If you share this episode and remember your debt free life starts with one brave step and I'm cheering you on every step of the way. We'll talk soon. Debt Rebel.

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