Impulse Spending & ADHD | The Dopamine Loop Trap | 108

0:00 Hello and welcome back to this miniseries about ADHD and money management and some of the top questions I get asked. So if you're a brand new here, the show's taken a little bit of a pivot to hone in on something that I, as I started sharing more about my story, I realized how many more people struggle with some, you know, ADHD things when it comes to just being busy, overwhelmed, and the money management part is like oil and water and when you have ADHD. And so my own personal story, we've eliminated $107,000 in debt.

0:36 I got a degree in economics and that was before I had all that debt and then paid it off. And then I was diagnosed with ADHD this last year. And so my story is kind of all over the place when it comes to the way that I learned things and then the way I was able to implement them, and then just all the shame that I felt. And so I wanted to share some of the things that I learned and also answer some of the most commonly asked questions that I get because they are very common. And so you might have been listening to the show for a while, which by the way, Leah, thank you so much for joining me for today's episode.

1:10 But thank you so much, Leah, for listening. I am so glad to have you in my world. So today's question, how do I stop impulse spending? So we think about impulse spending maybe is a bad thing and it is not necessarily, it's not about us. It's not a spending problem. And I had this question and this thing come up recently and I'm going to do an episode here shortly on this because I posted something online and people were so kind about it and they obviously weren't listeners to the show or people that didn't have kind things to say about the thing that I had posted.

1:44 And they're like, well, obviously you have a spending problem. And I didn't get the opportunity to because it just got out of control as social media can sometimes. But the point I'm trying to make is some people will think that this is a spending issue. But if you, especially if you have been diagnosed or think you might have ADHD, all of us have this level of dopamine in our world or in our brains that we need to satisfy and that we want. And so our brains, when it comes to spending money, it is, it's a dopamine hit.

2:17 It's a rush, right? And so our brains are doing exactly what they were designed to do. And so when we talk about impulse spending, we can have this negative connotation and it can feel this is where the shame spiral can go real hard, real fast. And so I want to talk about this today because it isn't about willpower, it's about interruption. And so how do we, when we see these patterns happen, how do we interrupt that in a positive way? But then also, what do we do? How do we plan ahead for these impulse spending moments so that we are not completely derailing our finances and getting off track from the goals that we have set for ourselves and our families.

2:58 So First off, the dopamine hit happens when we're maybe we're shopping online or we're in the store and we're like, my gosh, yes, maybe this is going to solve all of our problems. Maybe it's a planner that we've seen like 1000 times and we're like, this planner is going to be the thing that helps me manage my time and all of these things, right? And then so we buy it and then we regret it, right? Because Oh my gosh, we've done this before and the results haven't been great. Or I've bought this before and I set it aside and now I have a closet full of these things that I'm not using.

3:34 So every time you open it up, you see it. So there's this, there's this amazing feeling we get. Then it's like scratching an edge. And then all of a sudden it's like this is, this is not great and we regret it. And so that cycle can continue if we don't put some safeguards in place. Another, another thing that we, that I hear sometimes when people talk about this is, you know, and you might have heard this, especially if you've listened to other financial podcasts or you've watched other, other financial people talk about impulse spending.

4:11 But why just just stop spending, right? You might hear that you're like, OK, that's so great. If it was that easy, I would be doing that, right? And so when I say this, know that I am with you in this because when our brains are seeking out the maybe the simplest solution to a problem or the shortest direction or the shortest distance between point A and point B, or maybe we're having those moments where we're like, you know what? Today's just a really kind of day and maybe you're online or maybe you see a commercial on TV and you're like this thing that sounds amazing, that sounds amazing, right?

4:51 And so you buy it. So what are what can you do in those moments? Because just stop spending, quote UN quote is terrible advice, right, Especially for people like us. So one thing that has been helpful for us, and I know I know several other families that do this as well, is having a is creating a rule for yourself, maybe some resistance between that urge and then the action. And so how do you create that pause? So a few things that are really great. I have, you know, removing the auto fill or saving your card number when you're online, if that's a place that's a challenge for you.

5:30 But the other thing is, is creating a 24 hour rule when it comes to adding things to your shopping cart online. So if you see something you're like, I want that, put it in your cart and then you have to give yourself 24 hours before you check out. That gives you time to analyze your purchase and think, is this going to bring me closer to my goal? Or you might want forget about it, right? That could happen. And then the other thing that could happen is you decide this isn't going to bring value to my family like I thought it was 24 hours ago.

6:00 And that's going to help realign you with your goals. Because if impulse spending is one of your biggest struggles when it comes to money management, we want to build those real life guardrails. And so that's the kind of stuff that we do inside the membership. So you're not relying on your willpower at 9:00 PM when you're at the end of your day and you're just tired and you're on Instagram and you're like, that's going to solve all of the problems I had today, right? And so it gives you some of those those guardrails so that you are not having to sacrifice your family's goals and dreams because you saw an ad online, right?

6:37 So this is just one, one example. Some other things that I have found helpful is creating a little bit of a buffer and we call it in our in our household, we call our fun money. And so I have mine and my husband has his. Those are separate line items in our budget and that's money that we can use to, we can use for those impulse purchases. So it's a preset amount every single month. And so it's going to allow us to indulge that if we want to. We don't fight about that money. We decide together on all the other things, but we don't fight about, you know, if he spends his money on something that I wouldn't have spent my money on, I get to keep my mouth shut.

7:16 And so it cuts down on our money fights, but also it allows us to indulge that impulse a little bit, but it doesn't allow us to go back into debt and completely derail our goals that we have set for ourselves. And we're not creating that that shame spiral. So it kind of it checks all the boxes. So that's another thing that if that's if that's an area for you that you're like, Hey, this is, this is a struggle for me because we don't know when those impulses are going to kick in. We know that they will.

7:42 And so maybe you do have a set amount that you're like, this is how much I'm going to spend on this right now. And so it allows you to to indulge that, but not in a way that's going to completely, completely derail your finances. Make sure you check out the show notes for the information on the membership and how we create some checks and balances with this within the within that membership. If impulse spending is an issue for you and if this episode or this podcast at all has brought you any kind of helpful advice or things that you've implemented.

8:15 And I would love it if you would jump on my website, debtrebelpodcast.com. And there is a link there so you can vote for the show as it's been nominated for a women podcaster award again this year. And we won last year and it would be amazing to have a repeat. So thank you so much for listening and we'll see you in the next episode. Thank you for tuning into the Debt Rebel show today. Ready to take your family budgeting to the next level? Stop that paycheck to paycheck grind and start living debt free?

8:46 Head over to my website, debtrebelpodcast.com. That's DEBTREDEL podcast.com to grab resources, tools and tips to make it happen. And don't forget, subscribe, leave a review. And if you know another family that will love hearing today's episode, it would be such a gift for both of us, your friend and me. If you share this episode and remember your debt free life starts with one brave step and I'm cheering you on every step of the way. We'll talk soon. Debt Rebel.