Why Budgets Fail | ADHD Money Management Strategies That Actually Stick| 107

0:00 Right, So why can't I stick to a budget? Have you asked yourself this before? Maybe you've asked yourself this numerous times and you're just like, you know what? I'm going to give up. I'm not going to do it. So today's episode, if you have ever made a budget, abandon it a few days in and you're like, this is not for me because you feel like you lack discipline. I want you to stick around today because it is not because you lack discipline. It's because the system was never built for your brain.

0:26 So stick around because today's episode is just for you. Now, if you've been listening to the show for a little while, you might have noticed a little pivot happening. And that's because I really decided to lean into something that I have found I've learned about myself. But also as I started talking to more listeners of this show and also the, the people in my world and realizing that many of us struggle with ADHD, whether we've been diagnosed before or if we are self diagnosed, maybe we're like, you know, I really relate to all of this.

0:57 The traditional ways of doing things might not feel like something that works for you. And so that's what this show is about. Because I, that was something that I learned about myself much later, even though I studied economics, I got a degree in it. I have studied personal finance for the last 25, actually over 25 years, accumulated over $107,000 on my own personal debt and paid that off. And then this last year was diagnosed with ADHD. And so I started talking about it more because one, it's been really helpful for my process.

1:34 But also I have learned there's so many of us that this is something that we're like the traditional ways or maybe the ways that we are taught to do things, especially when it comes to our money management might work for a maybe for a hot 2nd, but then they just, we cannot stay consistent. Or we maybe, you know, budgeting just sounds so restrictive. And that's what I always thought of. But I was like, OK, I'm really great at putting these together and I love it. I mean, I'm Jewels the budgeter for Pete's sakes, right?

1:59 So I love creating budgets, but following them was very challenging until I learned a few things. And so I want to talk about those today. And this is kind of kicking off a miniseries talking about money and ADHD and some of the most common questions that I get asked. And so I also, this is part of a celebration for the podcast because it was nominated for a women podcaster award again this year. So I'll make sure to put the info in the show notes so that you can vote for that starts April first voting does.

2:29 So if you're listening to this live, you might have to wait just a little bit longer. But I wanted to dig into these most commonly asked questions because I feel like answering questions is like, this is my gift. And especially when it comes to money management because I've learned things the hard way. And so I'm here to teach you and share these things with you so that you don't have to do things the hard way anymore and you can feel better about spending your money. You can feel about better about reaching your money goals.

3:01 And so if you have ever felt like, you know what, I'm going to do this budgeting thing, I'm going to pay off my debt and you're super motivated and you get it all set up and then you never look it again. This is this is this is for you. Because that is one thing that was challenging for me too. So the thing that I want to make sure that you hear me say is budgets don't fail because it's not because they don't work. It's because they aren't created the traditional way, maybe of budgeting is just the, it's the way that doesn't work for us.

3:31 And so if you've tried other, you know, other budgeting methods and you're like, hey, this, this doesn't, this doesn't work for me. Then I want to talk about something today that has helped me kind of shift things around and prioritize certain things over other, other things when I'm talking about spending, because it has helped us, my family and I be able to spend with confidence and not, you know, get the grocery store and go, Oh my gosh, I hope there's money in the account. Like, I know, I know what's in there.

4:00 And so couple of the things that come up when we're talking about money management and ADHD is out of sight, out of mind. And so maybe maybe that's you. Maybe there's just too many categories. Have you tried to put everything down that you spent all of your money on? And so if you struggle with decision fatigue and maybe just like being overwhelmed by all of that, then maybe you need to scale it back a little bit. Me personally, I have to make sure that I don't, I get certain things, I will prioritize some spending one month versus another.

4:30 And so I put my, if you look at my personal, our household budget, there's a lot of categories in there, but that's what's helped me. And so that might be different for you. And that's why personal finance is so personal is because we have to figure out what works for us. And the other thing that comes in when it comes to figure out what works for us is static budgets are not real life. They don't match the, the real life, especially for raising kids, just basically breathing right now. It's just not the way we set our spending at the beginning of the month.

5:01 It's going to change throughout the month because of our lives are going to change, where our priorities are going to change. Things are going to come up. And so if we give ourselves the grace and know that those things are going to change, it makes it a little bit easier. So when those things come, we don't have to go down those shame spirals or the the self loathing of we can't do it again. So the one thing that's really important is you know it for that out of sight, out of mind, if that's something that you struggle with is keeping it at the forefront.

5:33 So if you use a budgeting app to manage your finances, then put that, maybe that's on the home screen of your phone so that you remember. OK, I'm going to check that out. Maybe it's setting up reminders. I know that we have a standing, my husband and I have a standing budget meeting every single month to just go over and look at our spending for the month. And sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't. And that's the part where we have to give ourselves grace and go, OK, but we, it's not that we have gone back into debt.

6:05 We, it's a conversation that we have on a regular basis, but we do have it on the calendar. So we make sure, hey, we've checked in, but typically throughout the, you know, throughout the month, we'll have a little, you know, conversation like, Hey, you know what, let's focus this month in on this, on this goal. So for us personally, right now, that's preparing for the wedding of our oldest daughter. And so our spending looks a little bit different than it might in, you know, the springtime of any other year because we're not focused on on that big event every year, things like that.

6:36 So a simple action that you can do today to help with this, help you answer that question, why can't I stick to a budget is giving yourself some grace. And maybe it's cutting your budget down to three to five main categories this week. So maybe it is, you know, it's keeping a roof over your head. So it's those expenses that are going to go in there. So maybe that's housing and mortgage or housing or mortgage, it's going to be your utilities and then maybe it's going to be food. And then other categories that could be in there are, you know, health, so medical expenses, gym memberships, that kind of stuff.

7:11 And then a couple other categories that matter to you and your family. So keeping them a little bit more general might help you as you get started. And it's just like, if you've gone to the gym after being, you know, away from the gym for a long time, and you're like, like, oh, this hurts. So like, let's let's break into this slowly and gently. And so creating those categories that aren't, you know, every single subscription that you have. Maybe you just lump subscriptions together. So if you want to make a budget that actually works for your brain and not against it and allows you to feel empowered when it comes to spending your money and you can spend it with confidence.

7:48 So when your kid asks that question, hey, can I get this? You'll have an answer. This is exactly what we build together inside the Alliance coaching member, so you don't have to figure this stuff out alone. So I'll drop the info in the show notes so you can check that out. But I hope that this episode was helpful for you and encouraging for you to get some clarity on why budgeting has been so difficult in the past. And so stay tuned. We're gonna be talking about a few more questions that come up often about managing your money when you have ADHD.

8:18 All right, talk soon. Thank you for tuning into the Debt Rebel show today. Ready to take your family budgeting to the next level? Stop that paycheck to paycheck grind and start living debt free? Head over to my website, debtrebelpodcast.com. That's DEBTREDEL podcast.com to grab resources, tools and tips to make it happen. And don't forget, subscribe, leave a review. And if you know another family that will love hearing today's episode, it would be such a gift for both of us, your friend and me. If you share this episode and remember your debt free life starts with one brave step and I'm cheering you on every step of the way.

9:03 We'll talk soon. Debt Rebel.