Money Habits & ADHD: Consistency Isn’t Discipline—It’s This | 112

Hello and welcome back Debt Rebels. This is the Debt Rebel show, and I am Jules the budget nerd. I'm so glad that you're here. We're in the middle of a little series about just the most commonly asked ADHD and money questions. And so the last few episodes we've talked about why our brains want to avoid our bank accounts. We talked about figuring out where our money is actually going. So maybe impulse spending some of those things. So if you haven't had a chance to listen, go back and check out those last few episodes.

They're super helpful because if you're like me and you're managing ADA symptoms as well as your personal finances, it can be a perfect storm and not in the best way possible, right? This is the kind of stuff where our brains can be our own worst enemies, but we can help set them up for success. And so today, we're going to be talking about staying consistent with our money even if we have to manage those ADHD symptoms. But before we jump in, I want to say a special thank you and hello to Carrie and Amanda.

Thank you so much for joining my newsletter recently and just want to say thanks for listening. And I am so part I'm so glad that you're a part of our community here staying consistent with our money habits, right? This is the spot where we're like, how do we do it? Because the only thing we can stay consistent with is our inconsistency, right? So we don't need to try and get more discipline. What we need is a rhythm that works for our brain that we can rely on. So this is for that person. If this is you, you set up a budget and then and you're like, I'm going to do this and then it falls apart.

Sometimes it's that same week, maybe you make it a couple of weeks, maybe you've made it a couple months before and then it just doesn't work out. This episode is absolutely for you because I'm going to show you why consistency feels so hard and what actually works instead of trying to push a rock uphill like it feels like consistency can be sometimes. So let's think about this. So maybe you start out strong, you've got that brand new budget and you've got some fresh energy. Maybe you have a new app or you've got a notebook, a planner that you're using to manage your money.

And it feels really good, right? This is the part where our brains get that dopamine and we're like, yes, we're doing this, we're tracking things, we're checking it. We're feeling like this is the moment, this is the time things are going to work out. And then life happens, which this is, this is a guarantee right now. And for anybody that's listening to this, life is going to happen. And so then maybe you missed a day, then a few days, and then it feels like your system is completely falling apart and you're suddenly avoiding your bank account like you hadn't been in the past.

And so we're going to change that today because you didn't forget. You just emotionally unsubscribe from that system. OK, so one of the things that I found myself getting into is that all or nothing cycle. And this is really, I see this a lot, especially in the ADHD world. I saw this a lot in myself before I was diagnosed. I just didn't know that that's what was getting in my way. And so we think that consistency has to be, we think consistency means doing it perfectly. And you know, like I just said a little bit ago, the one thing that we're consistent with it, we're consistent with.

And So what if we just change what consistency looked like in our minds? We don't have to do everything perfectly. Actually, I'd say we don't have to do anything perfectly. That's not our job. But when we feel like we have to do things perfectly, that's when we complete we, that's when we check out and that's when we quit the whole system. So that's not discipline, but that is turn out dressed up in a cute planner or a cute a cute thing that is not going to allow us to have the success that our brains crave.

So one of the things too is that that motivation that we have is based on feelings and emotions. And those things are very unreliable for us. So our brains love the novelty, they love the newness and not repetition. So when we use an old system like that, it sets us up for failure and not because we're lazy, but because it requires us to feel motivated every day. So that's why inside our membership, we set up a system that manages itself in the background. So when we don't feel that motivation that it's still not going to allow us to go back into debt.

It's going to help us keep aligned with our goals. So if you're planned event, if you're depends on that motivation, it's already broken. OK, so how do we get consistent from our systems and not for motivation? So consistent people are not more disciplined. They just have more automation set up and especially with our ADHD brains, having that automation outside of our brains and having those things work in the background is going to be much easier for us to handle. It's going to be much easiest for us to maintain and allow us to be more consistent.

So we don't have to decide every single day. We just follow a rhythm. So here's here's some things that can help us wrap our brains around this and that is to make it simple. So if we have to decide something every single day, that's relying on us having that same motivation, that same level of energy every single day. And that's too much if we don't have a consistent plan. So if we just pick random days or times to manage our money, then it's not going to happen, right? Because our brains are craving that dopamine, that fun thing.

So if we create a weekly rhythm, that's going to be more sustainable. And so it's not an everyday thing. It's a once a week thing. And it doesn't have to be for a lot of time. So maybe it's Friday morning because that's payday is Friday. You check, make sure everything's in there, or maybe you have another day or time that works better for you, but make sure you're picking the same time, the same trigger so that that reduces the amount of decisions that you have to make. Now, we are not going to rise to our goals, but we're going to fall to our systems.

And that's why having a system set up for you and your brain and your family that works for you is going to make this process so much easier for yourself. So how do you build a simple rhythm that isn't overwhelming and that's doable, right? Because we've got a lot of other things going on. We've got a lot of other systems in our worlds that we need to maintain. So how do we set up a money one that works for us? So one thing that was really helpful for me is realizing that it took, I didn't go from 0 to $107,000 in debt overnight.

And so getting away from that, getting out from underneath that and reducing that is not going to happen overnight either. So we're not trying to rebuild your entire financial life today in this one episode. It's a whole system. And so we're going to pick 1 anchor habit. So pick one thing, one habit to help get you closer to that financial life that you crave. So an example is having that weekly check in, maybe meal planning in the grocery budget is way out of control. So I know that's a lot for a lot of my families that I work with.

That's one area because if you think about it, after your mortgage and after, you know, paying for housing and things like that, your meals, those are the food for your family that's going to, that's going to be one of your biggest reoccurring expenses. So I've created the grocery reset playbook to help you with that. But one thing that you can do right now to create that habit is the meal planning before grocery shopping. So if meal planning is a challenge for you, there's an added bonus in that grocery reset playbook as well.

That's going to help you. Some amazing feedback about that is like having. So a friend of mine that grabbed it, she said this is stuff my son will actually eat and this makes grocery shopping so much easier. So helping you reduce the decision fatigue and allowing your family to continue to eat healthy foods that they'll actually eat. That's available too. So maybe it is reviewing your upcoming bills. That's the one habit that you're going to start today and see, hey, I have the money in my account to do that or my upcoming paycheck is going to cover that.

Maybe you're trying to grow your savings. So transferring some money to savings on that, that date and time that you have set up, that's another place so you can put some automation in. And that's also helped us grow our savings and our emergency fund. So the thing that makes this successful is it's predictable. So our brains know it's coming. We know when it's coming and we can, we can file that away. It's also small. So that means that there's going to be less resistance and less hesitation to follow through with these tasks because, or follow through with this habit because it's small, right?

We can do small things, but when we start to think about overhauling our entire financial life, we're like, that's way, way too much. And so we don't do it. But if we pick One Financial habit that we can start today, that is going to help create that consistency for yourself. And then we want this to be repeatable. And so that's where that trust gets built with yourself is because our brains want to lie to us and tell us that we're not good at this. And that that's part of the ADHD talking. And so I want to encourage you today that when you create this is, is keep it, keep it going.

And that's going to build that trust with yourself. Again, that says, hey, I can do this, I can do things, I can do this, I can do this often, I can do this when I've scheduled that time with myself. So consistency isn't about doing more, it's about doing less more often. So it's just, you know, have you heard that saying, how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time? That's what this is, is we're just going to eat that elephant, that financial, creating that financial system, but we're going to do 1 habit right now.

We're going to make that goal. The action step for this week's episode is just to choose that one weekly money habit. Pick a day, pick the time, and that's it. We're not going to add five other things. We're not going to overthink it. We're going to pick one thing. So as you're listening to my voice right now, I want you to grab your phone, set a timer right now before you forget, put it on your calendar. For us, we schedule this on our calendars because for me, if it's not on my calendar, it doesn't get done.

That's part about creating an outside my external brain because I can't rely my memory to keep those things. So I have that written down or scheduled in my calendar, I should say. So here's the truth though. Consistency is a lot easier when we're not doing it alone. So that's why I've created the alliance coaching membership just the way that I have because it allows us to focus in on these simple real life systems that fit our real life rhythms and actually have some accountability because knowing what to do isn't necessarily the problem.

It's sticking with it. So if consistency is one of those areas that you're like, hey, I need some extra help in, I would love to help you with that. So if you're tired of starting over every single month, the alliance is always, always open for you. I'll have the information in the show notes for you and we'll walk through this together. Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that this episode was helpful and you can find more information on my website as well, debt rebelpodcast.com. You can find out more about the alliance there and any other resources that you would like.

All right, we'll see you in the next episode. Thank you for. Tuning into the debt. Rebel show today. Ready to take your family budgeting to the next level? Stop that paycheck to paycheck grind and start living debt. Free head over. To my website Debt Rebel podcast dot com that's DEBTRE. DEL. Podcast.com. To grab resources, tools. And tips to make it happen. And don't forget. Subscribe. Leave a review and if you know another family that will love hearing today's episode. It would be such. A gift for both of us, your friend and me if you share this episode and remember your debt free life starts with one brave step and I'm cheering you on every step of the way.

We'll talk soon. Debt Rebel.

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