Building Family Budgeting Systems That Heal: The Money Talk | 86

0:00 Hello and welcome to the show. Today we're going to talk about money. OK, So we talk about money all the time on the show. That's what the show is about. We are about making our money work better for us and stretch further and accomplish the goals we have set for our families. But I want to talk specifically today and I want to address something that comes up a lot is just the idea that we have about what we say about our money, what we, how we present it, how we share it. Hey there, I'm Jules, the budget nerd, and welcome to the Debt Rebel show.

0:38 This is the place where working families like yours learn how to stop living paycheck to paycheck, crush debt for good, and build a life where money actually works for your family. In about 15 minutes, I'll share practical family budgeting tips, tough love strategies, and the actionable steps to move toward debt free living without the fluff, the shame or the confusion. And I know a thing or two about this. My family and I have eliminated over $107,000 in consumer debt. And that was after I got my degree in economics.

1:09 So stay tuned. This is going to be a great episode. So grab that coffee, your planner, whatever you need to make this a great experience. Maybe a snack if you're like me. And let's make your money work for your family. Hi, Jules. This is Bale Doll. I just recently started listening to you. Oh, I want to say over like the last four months and I'm like, it's really hard for me to say this. I'm 53 and I have a lot of credit card debt and I have a fairly large house payment. Live in Washington state, super expensive up here and I do have a good job and if I didn't have this credit card debt I'd be OK.

1:54 But I do and I have a lot and I need encouragement and help. I've got my daughter, but I was kind of raised not to talk about this stuff, to just kind of keep it to yourself and maybe. That very special welcome to Vail. Thank you so much for listening to the Debt Rebel Podcast and I really appreciated your message. And you are absolutely right. We are taught not to talk about our money. And I think that that is one of the reasons why we can get in these situations where we end up with credit card debt or we feel a certain way about our spending habits, whether we're, you know, we don't want to talk about it.

2:35 We want to plug our ears and go la, la, la, la, la. Like, you know, the toddler that's, you know, it's trying to tell him it's time to go to bed. Or maybe it's the teenager that's like wants to slam the door in your face because you've asked them to unload the dishwasher for the 15th time. Whatever it is, sometimes we just want to escape the conversation because it's uncomfortable. And so I think I want to unveil you're not alone. And two, I want to also address that for others that listen to the show and think I hear you and I am listening, but I don't know how to have this conversation with certain people in my life or what to talk about or what is safe.

3:18 And so I want to talk about that today, especially as we go into the holidays. We might be around family more. We might be around our family of origin or where we have some strained relationships. Maybe we have family members that we've borrowed money from before and we're not able to pay that back for whatever reason right now or whatever you're going through with your money and our relationships. Money can change relationships. And so I wanted to just kind of, I don't know, peel back that onion today and let's let's talk about it because I think that things that get left in the dark, they, they stay there.

3:53 And when we bring them to the surface and we talk about and we address them just like we look back at our bank statements and go, OK, you know what, we can make some adjustments here. We can do the same thing with our conversations and our relationships. And so I have been reading that book Boundaries. Have you read that before? It's so good. But it has been really helpful for me and it's one I wish I've had way back in the day, but I never read it to kind of talk about boundaries with our money and our conversations about money with with people in our lives.

4:27 And so I know for us, our story is my, my parents taught me how to manage my money well. And then I didn't. And then I end up having to borrow money from them. And then the Bank of mom and dad closed and my husband and I had a mortgage payment that we needed to make. And my parents were not a source of helping us with that anymore. We had to figure out on our own. And so that was a boundary that my parents set for myself and my husband. And looking back, it was very challenging. And I did an episode on it.

4:56 I'll put that, I'll link that in the in the show notes. From looking back, that was a very hard conversation that we had, but it was such a good one because it forced me to look at something that I needed to fix. And sometimes we need someone outside of our situation to do that. And then sometimes we can just decide for ourselves. Now is the time. And so I just want to encourage you, if you have people in your life that maybe you've got some relationship strained because of money, maybe this is the time to just kind of open up that door to have a conversation.

5:31 Not necessarily make any commitments or anything like that, but say, kind of address the elephant in the room. And because when we when we address that elephant in the room, it gets smaller and smaller every bite that we take. And our relationships can be mended and repaired if we're willing to do the work. And obviously we can't expect someone on the other side. We can't control what they're going to do. And just like I've shared on this on the show before, like I couldn't change my husband's spending habits.

5:58 I can only change my own. And so that's what I did until he got to a place where, OK, he was, he was ready to make the change. He saw the fruit of what I wanted to accomplish and where I was going with our, with our financial plan because he wasn't on board at the very beginning. And now on the other side of it, that yes, I know it is hard work and it can be challenging and it's hard, but I just want you to know that you're not alone. And having these conversations, whether they're big or small, is going to be a step in the right direction towards healing that relationship.

6:35 But not just the relationship with that person, but your relationship with your money. Because how we manage our money is important because it is the tool that we use to accomplish our hopes and our dreams. It's a tool that we use to accomplish our, you know, our goals in life, whether it's buying a home or, you know, creating a certain lifestyle for our families, providing, you know, basic needs for our families and maybe creating some great memories for our families. So we do that. That is the universal.

7:05 The universal currency is money to use those to accomplish that.

7:12 I just feel like this topic has come up a lot and I just really wanted to to share the it's finding a safe place to have that conversation. And that's what we do inside the alliance. And so I want to share a special invite if this is a place where you're at right now and you're like, I've heard you talk about this a lot. I've heard you share a lot of your story and I know you have some great resources available. I am opening up the Alliance so that anyone that's been listening to this show, you can jump in this next week, November 12th through the 19th depending on when you're listening to this and you can jump in and experience the Alliance for completely free.

7:49 You can jump in on the on my calls with myself. I would love to chat more with you about your money, your money questions. I love being able to record these episodes, but I crave that opportunity to answer your questions and and address things that are going on in your financial life. And so I want to invite you to that. I will put the link in the show notes. You can also get to my website, julesthebudgetnerd.com and check it out there. But let's let's talk about your money. Let's figure out what's working, what needs to be tweaked.

8:24 And we can and we can move forward. We can bring those things that are that things that are in the dark, the things that are in that Monica closet. Let's bring them out and address them and them in their proper place and then we can move forward with life and accomplish more of our hopes and dreams for our families and for ourselves and have more peace in our day-to-day life. So I hope that that was encouraging for you today. And I'm just excited to see you inside the alliance. If that is something that you want to check out, you can go to my website, jewelsthebudgetnerd.com, [email protected].

8:59 Thank you so much for joining me today. We'll talk with you in the next episode. Thank you for tuning into the Debt Rebel Show today. Ready to take your family budgeting to the next level? Stop that paycheck to paycheck grind and start living debt free. Head over to my website debtrebelpodcast.com. That's DEBTREBEL podcast.com to grab resources, tools and tips to make it happen. And don't forget subscribe, leave a review. And if you know another family that will love hearing today's episode, it would be such a gift for both of us, your friend and me.

9:39 If you share this episode and remember your debt free life starts with one brave step and I'm cheering you on every step of the way, We'll talk soon, Debt Rebel.