Why Black Friday Deals Are Spending Leaks | ADHD Money Trap | 87

I used to love going Black Friday shopping so my husband and I, we would do Thanksgiving and then we depending on where we were, if we were traveling we would go. I would go Black Friday shopping with my sister-in-law or if we were home, then my husband and I would, we would get up and we would go shopping at sometimes we were at stores at midnight and depending on if they were, you know, when they open, sometimes it was 4:00 AM and you would just be buying socks. And I was like, Oh my gosh, what am I doing just to get this really crazy deal.

And so I absolutely. So don't get me wrong, I absolutely love getting a deal. If I can get something for next to nothing and it's a value to me, I am all for it because that means there's extra money I have now to buy something else that I need or I love getting a deal. But remember, everything's 100% off if you don't buy it. Hey there, I'm Jules the budget nerd and welcome to the Debt Rebel show. This is the place where working families like yours learn how to stop living paycheck to paycheck, crush debt for good, and build a life where money actually works for your family.

In about 15 minutes, I'll share practical family budgeting tips, tough love strategies, and the actionable steps to move toward debt free living without the fluff, the shame, or the confusion. And I know a thing or two about this. My family and I have eliminated over $107,000 in consumer debt and that was after I got my degree in economics. So stay tuned. This is going to be a great episode. So grab that coffee, your planner, whatever you need to make this a great experience. Maybe a snack if you're like me.

And let's make your money work for your family, right? So Black Friday is right around the corner and I just want to talk about. I just want to talk about it. I remember back in the day when I was working retail, Black Friday felt like the Olympics and the, it was such a, Oh my gosh, it was such an emotional drain. It was physically, mentally exhausting. And I was on the retailer side. We would get the store ready and be able to help people on Black Friday and it was like carnage everywhere. Like I remember having a fever and I had to go to the emergency room 1 Black Friday because I had this this crazy fever and it was super sick.

But there was no one else to fill in for me. And so I had to show up for work and went to the emergency room on my break. But it was just so mentally and physically exhausting working retail during Black Friday. But today I want to talk about the flip side of that. So when we Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving in the United States, and it's where retailers usually have their best deals of the season to get ready for the holidays for in December. And people just go crazy buying gifts and all kinds of things for themselves, for their loved ones, and sometimes just because.

And so if you struggle with impulse buying, this episode is for you because this was me. I used to love going Black Friday shopping. So my husband and I, we would do Thanksgiving and then we, depending on where we were, if we were traveling, we would go, I would go Black Friday shopping with my sister-in-law. Or if we were home, then my husband and I would, we would get up and we would go shopping at sometimes we were at stores at midnight and depending on if they were, you know, when they open, sometimes it was 4:00 AM and you would just be buying socks.

And I was like, Oh my gosh, what am I doing just to get this really crazy deal? And so I absolutely, so don't get me wrong, I absolutely love getting a deal. If I can get something for next to nothing and it's a value to me, I am all for it because that means there's extra money I have now to buy something else that I need or want. And so I love getting a deal, but remember, everything's 100% off if you don't buy it. And so one thing that I dislike about Black Friday is it creates a sense of urgency that sometimes is totally unnecessary.

And if you, if you struggle with impulse buying like myself, like this could be like, Oh my gosh, this is just like walking into the fire, right? Because you see things when you're tempted, you're seeing things that you normally might not see. And you're like, that's a really great deal. Even though I don't need, you know, 85, you know, baby blankets, like that's a really great deal. So we can get out of control with our spending. And so when we go and we don't have a list or we don't have parameters set for ourselves, whether that's setting out a budget or a list of people that were shopping for or specific bargains that we're trying to get.

And that's one of the reasons why our family has opted out of Black Friday shopping. As I'm recording this, it's before Black Friday and we're going to be going to do some shopping before that because the stores are going to be less busy and less hectic. And we can just enjoy our experience a little bit better because one of the things we do is we take our youngest to go pick out some stuff and one of her favorite stores and she gets to, that's part of her gift is she gets to pick those things out.

It's clothes that she and we would normally be buying her. But there is she gets to have some say in it and it's six years old. That's kind of a big deal. And she really enjoys it. And she has a very strong opinion about what what she likes to wear. That's something that we have decided we started doing as a family this last couple of years. And she loves it and we love it. And we know that the things we're going to be getting her are things that she loves and enjoys. But could we wait until the following weekend or maybe 2 weeks later when things are on a crazy, like on crazy sales and we're struggling to find the sizes that we want or we're losing each other in the store?

For us, we have found because we have set a budget for ourselves and we know yes, it's so great saving money, but it's a better experience for us if we're able to do it ahead of time. That's what I want to talk about is just being intentional with our spending and not feeding into the frenzy that sometimes can come with holiday shopping and Black Friday especially. So if you know, if you if you buy something that's not like a gift that you would were going to get someone already, and then that's kind of money wasted, right?

If we don't, if we're not intentional with how we go into that process, and then that kind of feeds that shame cycle again. And we start to feel like, OK, wait a second, I spent money I shouldn't have. I bought something I shouldn't have. And then there's just like that emotional drain and we tend to overbuy, right? And so all of those things come into play and they, and So what I want to, I want you to hear me say today is sometimes it's not about saving money. It's about saving your sanity in the process.

And that is going to protect your mental energies, but also it does protect your budget because you're not putting yourself in these situations where we can, we're kind of setting ourselves up for failure. And that's kind of how I've always framed it in my mind is there's there's one store that always that I have gotten better at going into. I'm not going to name the name because it's one of my husband's favorite stores, but I've gotten better. I have to prepare myself when I go in there because the idea that something that I really want is not going to be there the next time I show up.

It used to give me a lot of anxiety because it made me and then then it made me want to buy, buy this thing that I maybe wasn't prepared to buy, or maybe I was. But I felt like this external pressure to like, want to buy this thing. And so I just don't like that feeling. And so I'm sure if you're listening to the show to you might be thinking, yeah, actually, I don't. I don't like that feeling. And so today I want to remind you, you absolutely have permission to opt out of Black Friday shopping and the chaos.

If it's something that's fun for you and you enjoy it and it's an experience in a tradition with your family or with, you know, with your friends, or it's something that you do by yourself and it's part of your, it's part of your, your celebration of the holidays, then do it, but do it with intention and do it with purpose. And so if you if it is something that you enjoy, then it's a very different process when you go into it. Then if it's all about like having to buy this thing that you absolutely need or this thing that this toy that you absolutely, you know your child wants and having this, what's that?

He remember the movie Jingle all the way with Arnold Schwarzenegger. And he's like running all over the city trying to find, trying to find this toy for his son. And then he gets, he gets it in these fights and stuff like that. Like that's not what this is all about. And So what I just want to encourage you with today is it's OK to not participate in the things that the rest of the world is or it's OK to do things a little bit differently. And so for our family, this year we're not going to participate in Black Friday.

So I think this year we're probably going to hang out at home and enjoy some family time and just just relax. What can you do instead of Black Friday shopping and still accomplish the goal of buying gifts for your loved ones? So First off, just creating a spending plan. So looking at your finances, looking at your budget and saying I have this much money available. Maybe you've been saving throughout the year, or maybe you've just been saving. This last few weeks is to figure out how much money you have to buy gifts and then write a list for who you're going to buy gifts for.

And then maybe it is prioritizing memories over merchandise over things. And that's something that our family has done more and more. And so I've shared in earlier episodes, but my mom now instead of buying us gifts that we're going to be unwrapping under the tree, she still get stuff a little, you know, a few little things for the grandkids. But we as a family, we all go to The Nutcracker and we get to have that experience together as a family and it's such a blast. And we, it's now become a tradition and we, we enjoy it.

It's something that we absolutely love to do as a family. And so I just encourage you, maybe this year, it's not about buying specific things or maybe it is about and thinking through like what you want your holiday season to look like this year. Do you want it to be calm and peaceful and without the chaos? You can absolutely opt into that if that's what you want. And so I highly encourage it because it has, it has allowed our family to experience the holidays and, and bring joy to our life in a very different way.

When we don't, we don't opt in for some of the, the external chaos. I just want to encourage you today, if that's, if that's something that you're like, I just feel like I need to do this. It is absolutely OK to opt out of that. And you're still, you're still going to find deals. You're going to find deals before, before Black Friday, You're going to find deals afterwards. Protecting your time, your money and your peace goes way further than it does to buy a specific gift. And sometimes like our kids, Oh my gosh, let's be honest, can you we remember as like as an adult now, can you remember all of the Christmas gifts you ever got?

Probably not, right? And so sometimes it is just that feeling that we get and the experience that we have together and creating those memories, those things can be far more valuable than finding, Gosh, I wish I could remember what the name of that toy was from Jingle all the way. But anyway, that's like, that's the thing that sticks in my mind is that I mean, growing up for us, it was tickle me, Elmo. And now I'm just like, Oh my gosh, that I would much rather have my had my parents spend the money on creating an experience for us and creating some memories for us than a tickle me Elmo.

I actually don't even remember if my sister or I ever got the tickle me Elmo, but I remember it being a big deal. See, this stuff doesn't matter, right? Like how many years later this stuff doesn't matter? And focus on what is most important for you and your family. This year as you decide to do things a little bit differently because you are, or maybe because you may be skipping the Black Friday and madness, I want to share a special invite with you. And this is exclusive to my e-mail subscribers.

So if you are not subscribed to my emails, jump on my website, debtrebelpodcast.com. If you grab your Debt Rebel Starter kit there, you'll automatically be added to that list. But I'm doing a 12 Days of Christmas promo. There's going to be some really great stuff. There's going to be some special freebies, discounts, goodies, tips, tools, but it is only available for my e-mail subscribers. So make sure you jump over there to debtrebelpodcast.com and get on that list because that's coming soon. You get to decide how you are spending this Christmas, how you're spending your holiday season.

And if this year the goal is to just have a more peaceful season, then maybe that means not going just crazy with the Black Friday shopping or feeding into the frenzy that the rest of the world. It is absolutely OK to opt out of that. And so I just want to encourage you if there, if you are working on your holiday budget, to just write it down, decide how much you have to spend. And ideally, you're not going to be going to your credit card because when you are not when you're using your debit card or cash to purchase things for Christmas this year, it means that January is going to be even more peaceful for you this year than it was last year.

Can you imagine having peace in December and in January and not having to open that credit card bill and go, Oh my gosh, I got out of control. Now, the other thing is if you do decide to go shopping and buy some things is save your receipts because I have definitely been known to do this. If you buy something and then you have that regret later on that you're like, hey, this was out of my budget or this really felt like an impulse buy, it is absolutely OK and acceptable to return it. Just return it.

There's no shame in it. Retailers expect it. It is part of the game for them. They know it. And so there is you don't have to have any sort of feeling of shame or regret for a purchase that you've made in the past and you decide, you know what, I'm going to return it. Just be mindful of the return dates, you know, the the return policies and follow those and enjoy, just enjoy the Christmas season, enjoy your friends, enjoy your family. And I hope that this Christmas brings you a little bit more peace when you are intentional with your money.

So thanks so much for listening. We'll see you in the next episode. Thank you for tuning into the Debt Rebel show today. Ready to take your family budgeting to the next level. Stop that paycheck to paycheck check grind and start living debt free. Head over to my website debtrebelpodcast.com. That's DEBTREBEL podcast.com to grab resources, tools and tips to make it happen. And don't forget, subscribe, leave a review. And if you know another family that will love hearing today's episode, it would be such a gift for both of us, your friend and me, if you share this episode and remember your debt free life starts with one brave step and I'm cheering you on every step of the way.

We'll talk soon. Debt Rebel.

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